Taiwan 2010

for my annual trip out to the far east, i met up with my family in our taiwan home base in taichung. it was a welcome trip out of dc, and luckily, right before the snow storm hit the east coast. plus, it has been a couple of years since i've seen my brother and several more since i've seen my grandmother...so a nice family reunion was to be had.

i remember when i was younger, making these trips was very much a chore. always having to ditch my friends during our very few chances to meet up, never really haven't any friends out in asia, always being bored spending time with parents. and sure, those problems still exist now, but i have come to truly appreciate what these trips are for me. being so far away from my family, i have to take the very view chances i get to see them (any why not...it's not on my dime :P)

and this trip was no different...my brother flew down from shanghai to spend a several days with the family. we brought my grandmother over so we could take family photos. we went on a short in-island vacation to the local hot springs of yilan. and we ate...ate...and then ate some more.

though this will be the first year that i didn't celebrate a new years eve with excessive drinking and eventual vomiting, i'll take this clam and quiet transition to another year as an omen of a tranquil and stable 2011.

E Pluribus Unum

in a flurry of activity and in record speeds, the congress passed both historic and necessary pieces of legislation during this lame-duck session. from hostage negotiating a tax extension to finally repealing "don't as don't tell" to ratifying a new START treaty to ensuring health care for our 9/11 heroes...the last few weeks have been a whirlwind by senatorial standards.

some will come out of this thinking that we've heeded the calls of the midterm elections, that bipartisanship is the new watchword of the future. and even the president seems to believe it, which his most stirring oratorical statement in a long while: "For we are not a nation that says, 'don't ask, don’t tell.' We are a nation that says, 'Out of many, we are one.'"

the optimist in me hopes that the sentiment is real...that it wasn't just a momentary glimpse into what the founders intended congress to be. but the realist in me knows that we're looking at a couple years of deadlock and partisanship.

but however we spend the next couple of years, the idealist in me continues to hope that each individual member comes to the table with a genuine desire to do good of the country, regardless of whether or not i believe in their positions or not. after all, it is in that love for country that brings all of us into one.

Thanksgiving

the tradition continues...pre-thanksgiving feast 2010 was another success. again missing my coveted sous chef, i took on more of the responsibilities myself. and i was very pleased with myself when everything worked out.

but the main reason for this post is to rave about the utility and benefits of a good brine. and stealing alton brown's recipe, i thought the turkey turned out great...probably one of the best i've ever made.

anyways, now that the thanksgiving weekend is over and the leftovers are still being consumed, i'm already excited for the next time i get to feast.

Dream Girl

there may need to be new room on my mantel of ridiculously hot women that i will never get to meet...and as much as it pains me to think about this possibility, emmanuelle chriqui, has some serious competition.

so without further ado, to live forever in my creepish fantasy world of awesomely beautiful women who i will never have a chance with...arden cho.

and to further promote her and a few ucsd alum and a bunch of much more creative asian people than i..."A.S.S"

Where Amazing Happens

so good that you can't help but love it...

...or if you're in anything but purple and gold, just hate it.

More Sane?

us on the left have definitely had a plethora of ironic, hypocritical, downright hilarious, and realistically dangerous material from the right wing, tea party base the past few years...and it's done for some good ratings for the daily show and the colbert report. but what is truly appreciated about those types of shows is the level of intelligence that the two respective hosts bring to the discourse...it's not about who's winning or who's the loudest. yes, they make a living calling out the crazies, but those who believe that is news are just as ironic, hypocritical, hilarious, and dangerous...and sadly, missed the whole point of the rally this past weekend.

we were supposed to rise above the noise, not succumb to sound bites and talking points, and truly engage ourselves in the process and make our own decisions.

sure we may not be as hateful or be as aggressively spiteful, but we need to be careful not to be as blindly led.

Cuisine

it is no secret that i have been irate about the lack of quality mexican food in the district. and whenever i spout off on my complete disdain and disgust at the scene, i get rebuttals to visit places like cactus cantina or lauriol plaza, i immediate refute their claims that this is mexican food. as evidenced by the most useful of diagrams...



i won't lie, i do enjoy a plate of nachos or chips and queso or enchiladas and overly stuffed burritos. but there are times when i really just crave some quality chorizo or succulent carnitas...and sadly, those are harder to find in what should be a metropolitan.

Irony?

perhaps after sending sexts of your junk to unsuspecting former coworkers, this is what you get in return.

it doesn't matter where you are, whenever a guy sees another guy getting hit in the nuts they will instinctively feel a bit of pain in their own region...but that being said, this is still pretty funny.

Goals

now that i've recently passed my latest celebration of my birth year, i feel that i should assess where i've come and where i want to go. thus far, it seems that i've followed the exact route that i should have...the stereotypical first-generation asian american path: do well in high school, get into a good college, travel a bit (explore the world), pursue and advanced degree, then find a job. that is the path that my parents have laid out in front of me, coddled and nurtured to succeed. but they can only take me so far...

at this point, it's really up to me. so yes, on paper, it looks like i've done a decent job with myself. grad degree, worked on an exceptional team to pass health care reform, and now am responsible for the health care portfolio of another senator. sadly, i've been working under the feeling that i've gotten very lucky...having fallen into my job with finance, which allure and aura helped land me my current job. i'm still waiting to feel like i've completely earned what i have.

but beyond these deep seated ramblings, i still have to set goals for myself. and i won't bore the blogsphere with the thoughts of job advancements or luck in love. i've set a few very achievable goals that i hope to have in my lifetime...and here they are:

1. i want to be able to live in a house where i can have my own pool table
2. i want to have an infinity pool overlooking a cliff
3. i want to be wealthy enough to be able to open up a restaurant without fear of it failing

so now that i've succeeded in most of my goals during the first quarter century of so of my life, let's see if i can't get the rest of those in the rest of my life.

Volt

like many many others, i only know of volt through owner/chef bryan voltaggio's top chef fame. without that, i'm sure i wouldn't have made the hour drive to this quiet little block of frederick that reminded me of old town alexandria...with the same historic ambiance with an authentic american feel to it. and heading out there on a sunday night towards the end of a heated redskins game made the city blocks seem nearly abandoned. as my friend and i wondered what a famed chef and top tier restaurant were doing hidden in this more pastoral town as opposed to a trendy urban enclave, i had to stop myself from overly critiquing and just enjoy the new american cuisine in this classic american setting.

but once you walk up the stairs of the landmark houck mansion and into the restaurant itself, you leave the historic feel of frederick and are whisked away into a modern, chic, and surprisingly brightly lit dining room. though we arrived early for our meal, we were seated promptly. which meant we had to forgo the pre-meal drink at what looked like a rather comfortable lounge/bar. sadly, we were not offered a table in the kitchen. instead, we sat in the main dining room which was bright, with shining linens and plush seating...all adorned in white, offsetting the black/gray suits that the hosts/servers were wearing.

once seated, our server was quick to offer us the house filtered still/sparkling water as well as the cocktail/wine list. from which my friend and i both ordered expertly made manhattans...smooth and smokey. having done our homework, we had already decided to go for the pre-fixe six course kitchen menu opposed to their a la carte menu (though it was a very tough decision...but i figured i'd go for it since it was my birthday).

as for the food, we were presented with a trio of canapes to wet our palettes. it included a beet flavored puff with a little dollop of creme fois gras, a cube of compressed watermelon flavored with prosciutto, and a lobster salad with fried leeks...what a great start to the meal. the tasting menu followed along with a plate of heirloom tomatoes topped with tomato dip n' dops, olive oil ice cream, and mozzarella spheres. not only was everything on the plate fresh, as if it was plucked directly from the soil, but the combination provided a refreshing tone to evening. we followed that with what i would say is the stand out dish of the evening...the goat cheese ravioli. one bite in and i was awed at its creaminess, its boldness in flavor, and its harmony of tastes. the sharp goat cheese was countered with a very sweet puree of butternut squash, providing a balance between sweet and savory. the spotted skate wing was the next course...sitting on top of a bed of pea puree, was nicely prepared but didn't inspire me to sing another aria to the chef. the red water pork belly with white beans and stewed mustard seeds was fork tender, melt in your mouth delicious (but if given the choice, i'd still take david chang's pork belly bun from momofuku). the last savory dish was a neatly butchered, rare veal loin. i wasn't disappointed, but again, it didn't even beat out the braised veal cheeks i had at tabaq here in dc. the dessert was a texture of chocolate...and unlike the rest of the world, i'm simply not huge on chocolate. and the ganache and caramel was just too rich for my tastes.

overall, the food was definitely worth the hour drive away from the culinary adventures of the district, the service was impeccable with a server clearing the plates and utensils after each dish, and the price for a six course pre-fixe was not outrageous. and i didn't leave hungry as you often do from tasting menus.

granted without his top chef fame i probably never would have ventured into frederick, but now that i've tasted what i watched on tv, i'm happy that i did.

Election Season

as the owner of a big D-card, all this talk about republicans sweeping into power this year and the ineptitude of the democratic party has gotten me down and frustrated. yes...i agree that the economic outlook and the democrats complete lack of a message are big reasons why we're in the pickle that we're in. but at the same time, i'm seeing hypocrisy in action when talking about tax cuts and deficits...i'm seeing a republican party oppose any and everything for the sake of winning and the cost of the country...and sadly, i am seeing an insane amount of lies and deceit driving a less than informed electorate. but what really pisses me off (and this is a bipartisan finger pointing) are the people who take advantage of the electorate to make money under the guise of "restoring america".

i can respect policy differences...i can respect their position that government is too large and that tax dollars should be returned to those who make them. but when they take that argument and suggest that it will spur the economy because those dollars will simply be put back into the private sector, i urge them to bring me historical evidence. we need only look at this past decade to prove that that plan didn't work. with some of the largest tax cuts we've seen resulting in the largest deficits we've seen. at what point does perseverance become downright crazy?

but what's even more despicable with their tax policy is their continual raving about the deficit and pounding democrats for overspending. if the republican stuck by their by-as-you-go guns on everything else the democrats have tried to do these past two years, then i expect them to do so with the tax cuts. to offset the trillion dollars this is going to cost us, i want to hear them say they're raise the retirement age for social security, or list the benefits they would cut out of medicare, or limit the exorbitant defense budget. but they won't say any of those things. so they'll pound us for spending money on the poor, the needy, and the middle-income while they rake in cash from the uber wealthy and the large corporations.

not to be a blind loyalist, i've got my beef with the democrats as well. i've said this before, and it holds even truer today. but one of the reasons why i am a democrat is because we are open to ideas and a rather welcoming tent...but at the same time, that leaves us vulnerable and divided on message. i understand that all politics is local and that members of congress are sent here to represent their constituents...and they can't influence the social good if they can't win at home. but for once, i wish the democrats would stand tall, face the dirt that's being thrown at them, and remove their veil of cowardice and punch back. be proud and say "yes, i voted for the health reform bill, climate change, and financial reform. i know you disagree. but here's why i did". but instead, they run and hide. and as they always do, they say "don't pick on me". show me that candidate and i'll vote for him/her any day.

but i don't see that candidate anywhere. and i do see millions of misinformed americans blindly following the tune of beck, palin, limbaugh. these working class americans who belief faith has been lost in this country, that the democrats have auctioned off the wealth...i want them to ask glen, sarah, and rush "how much money did you make scribbling on your blackboard this year? how much money did you make touring the country as the mama grizzly? how much money did you make spewing hate over the airwaves?" then see how much they'd give back to you in times of trouble.

so with that note...end of rant.

Sick

Minne-soooo-ta

new job, new office, new m-state to travel to. this time, work has sent me to the upper midwest, home of the twin cities...minnesota. of all the things i've ever heard or known about minnesota, it's about the civility of the people. they have a charm and calmness about them that i can only imagine comes after building generations of patience to survive the brutality of their winters. but whatever the root cause, minnesotans are some of the nicest people you will ever meet.

beyond boring you with the banality of endless meetings, racing my rental car between offices and hotels, shuttling between generic diner and faux-trending restaurants, i will just explain the sense of adulthood i felt after the trip.

i've been on business trips before, and have been working a 'real' job for nearly two years now...but this time, the responsibility is actually on me. the boss will actually turn to me, leaving me without the safety net that i once had. sure i have resources to turn to, institutional memory to rely on, but ultimately, the responsibility lies with me. and i've been uncomfortable with that situation for a while...but this trip has helped me, though not yet overcome, adjust to my new surroundings. and only time and experience will truly push me to independence and confidence.

but fret not, though my trip to the great state of minnesota didn't allow me the luxury of free time (i failed to explore the mall of america and i flew out the night before the famed state fair began), i did get to enjoy a twins game on the finest of minnesota evenings.

Gluttony Week

those who have followed these ramblings are the ones who truly know me (besides all those who just happen to link to my page from a picture of one of my dream girls). so those who are still reading this now...i know, the dream girls are distracting...know that there are few things that i have no hesitation in spending my hard earned dollar on. and one of those is food...whether it be fresh from the farmer's market, store bought, ordered in, or dining out. so this past week of gluttony--restaurant--week, i definitely ate my share.

for some reason that i can no longer remember, i seemed to have fallen behind on my self-improvement routine and already missed the gym for a few days, and then my schedule being ruined by reservations, i continued to miss more. so truly, 4 reservations in one week, no days spend at the gym, i was indulging myself in my favorite of all sins.

i won't get into the details of my dining escapades, since they'll only leave my mouth watering and anxiously waiting for the winter restaurant week to come. you can read about them here, here, here, and here. and beyond those 4 visits, i also made stops for happy hour sushi and a large shrimp burrito, as well as large platters of homemade indian food.

so i sit here, as disgusted i am with the rolls of fat spilling over my waistband, i am just as equally satisfied at my epicurean adventures. onto the next meal i say...i can always go on that diet tomorrow.

Adjustments

on the eve of my third week with the new job, i'm still finding myself uneasy and tepid about my surroundings. though it's normal and i do have the advantage of having been around the hill before, i'm just not a big fan of not having a sure footing.

but in the middle of last week, i walked to my desk to find an item that i had been waiting for. it was a three part process, which made it more enjoyable when it finally arrived to my cubicle.

it's a framed copy of what's called a "redline" document. in this case, it's of the health reform law...the first and last page with the signatures of the president, the veep, and the speaker. and on the front, it was graciously signed by my previous employer, senator max baucus.

i've seen other staffers with redlines neatly framed in their offices and i've always admired them as signs of accomplishment for their work. and i know i haven't done anything to prove myself in my new position, but hanging this up next to my desk at least made me felt like i belonged there as opposed to just lucking into it.

so as tiny a symbolic gesture it is...it's helped me ease into my third week and hopefully the many weeks to come.

First Day

i'm sitting at my desk tonight listening to the rumblings of thunder and watching the downpour of rain and hoping that this dreadful weather is not an omen for the next leg of my career. or maybe i should think of it as a palate cleanser, allowing me to walk into hart 302 tomorrow with a clean slate with a new opportunity to prove myself. or...maybe a thunderstorm is just rolling through the district.

whatever the literal or existential reason is, tomorrow will be the first day i call myself a health legislative assistant for senator klobuchar and actually have the business cards to back that up. taking a walk down memory lane...remembering the surprise i felt when my dad woke me up one morning to tell me i had been accepted into grad school, and then the angst that came with employment (though it was just an internship), and also the elation i felt after seeing years of hard work actually paying off...i found myself thinking about which adjectives i'd be using to describe the next part.

everyone has been asking me whether or not i'm excited to be starting a new job, and to be honest, i can't say that i am...or at least not in the same way i was when i first moved to dc or when i was hired by senate finance. this move, though new and respectable, almost felt as if it came out of necessity. not being able to advance myself further, i was forced to take the opportunity. and though it is definitely a move up and will be immensely beneficial to my career as well as exceedingly humbling, i feel disappointed that i didn't make this move completely by choice or desire. but regardless, i take my full dedication and energy with me and will exert all i have to ensure my success, to make this all it can be and take all it will give in return.

Nostalgia

there have been a lot of change these days...birthdays, weddings, new jobs, new lives. but an invitation that arrived in the mail several months ago indulged me in a few days of the past. an old friend from years past was getting married...and i happily took this opportunity to see some great friends from a former life.


i've never been great at maintaining old friendships. my modus operandi is to develop a great group of friends everywhere i go...claremont, san diego, dc...but somehow i tend to only have the capacity to hold onto a handful of lifelong friends and regrettably, i lose touch with lots of others. and after making this trip back to california, seeing some of my old friends, i realized that i really missed that life.

dinner with lil sibs, drinks and a impromptu visit to napa with a great friend, reminiscing with old roommates, and wedding date with an old crush...it was all just a little bit surreal.

maybe it's hearing what all my old college buddies have been up to in the years that have gone by, or realizing i'm at the age when friends of mine start getting married and having kids, or that i've taken responsible steps to improve my career/life even if i'm not as confident about it. but as much as i move around and go down paths i never thought i would have, i still have to think...change is hard.

Boston

before last monday, heading up to boston for this seminar on comparative effectiveness research was a good educational move for my work with the committee. but after an unexpected call from the senior senator from minnesota that afternoon, having the committee pay for my trip seemed a little selfish as i would no longer impart my knowledge for their benefit. but after making sure my office was still okay sending me (probably as a reward for the past year and half of health reform), i happily booked my tickets and hotel room for a few days outside the diamond confines of dc.

so under the guise of this seminar, i escaped dc for a few days to visit boston (where i have never been). and i'm glad i went. the conference itself was uneventful and i was definitely out of my comfort zone of policy and politics as this was a scientific methods discussion and i gave up my scientist-card the moment i barely passed o-chem. but the true purpose was simply to walk around a new town, eat some food, catch some sights, and enjoy a relaxing few days...and that i did.

as tempted as i was to stroll through boston common wearing my purple and gold, i fear that i would've been mugged in broad daylight and the police would've encouraged it. so i refrained from my gloating and just enjoyed the city on its own. and i must say, it is a beautiful city. walking down commonweath, you'd be hard pressed to find a more serene street anywhere else. with red brick row houses facing a park-like divider lined with plush green trees, with a george washington statue at its helm before opening up to the public garden and boston common.

staying in the south end, i was privy to the "new money boston" as it was put to me by a tour guide. i was definitely pleased to have been recommended some wonderful gastronomic pleasures and wish i could have taken advantage of all of them. but i will highlight my first non-conference dining experience at b&g oysters. nestled into a corner of tremont st, it definitely held its own amongst the numerous dining choices available to me on those stretch of blocks.

and of course, what would a trip to boston be without visiting harvard. as much grief as we give our cambridge friends, i was still anxious to stroll along the campus and hopefully soak up some ivy league intelligence. and i must say, the campus is exactly as you imagine it to be (though not necessarily full of tourists gawking about)...with its large brick buildings, large shaded quad, and historical influence exuding from its grounds. i made sure to sit there for a while and let osmosis do its work...i instantly felt my iq jump a few points.

overall, though my time was short, i truly enjoyed myself. and i thought about how close i was to having gone to school at boston university and how different my life would be if i had. it seems that i've been having a lot of those "grass is greener" moments recently...and at the end of the day, i just have to enjoy and focus on the patch of lawn that i am sitting on now.

Moving On

don't worry reader, this title does not represent my retirement from this blog, though i have noticed a severe drop off in posts (my bad). but what it means is my departure from the legislative, history-making senate finance committee. i have been offered the health legislative assistant position with the senior senator from minnesota, amy klobuchar, and today, i accepted.

i must say, it is very difficult to leave the prestige of the committee room, but this move to a personal office will be both a unique experience and a learning opportunity for me. at the same time, i worry that my penchant for acting smart will be called into question and everyone will realize that i really have no idea what i'm talking about. but even beyond personal fear or the risk of disappointing my new boss, i'm most afraid of the embarrassment i'd feel if my current colleagues were ashamed that i made such mistakes after sending almost two years under their tutelage.

but whatever i'm feeling, the wheels of progress are turning. come july 19th, i will not be strolling into the dirksen building, ride the elevator the two floors i could have easily walked, or enter 207 and walk down the hall to my desk as i spy who's already in the office. instead, i'll be entering hart, feeling better as i ride the elevator three stories, and walking toward an unknown cubicle. it is an odd feeling, but a good one, knowing that i am moving forward with my life. but at the same time...change is hard.

Ulcers

i'm not generally someone who is overwhelmed by pressure or lets things i can't control get to me...but when it comes to lakers playoff basketball, i am stressed, agitated, and rather irrational. after this disappointed game 5 loss tonight, if anyone tried to poke at me i wouldn't be surprised if i threw a punch.

but instead, i'm going to calmly picked up the remote that i threw across the room, pound two shots of jameson to numb the pain, close my door, and rant to the blogosphere where no physical harm can be done.

so tonight's game was the perfect example of why i hate the 2-3-2 format for the finals. the top-seeded team should be rewarded for their achievements in the regular season...and yes, the lakers do have home court and can take the last two games at home. however, when two great teams do what they're supposed to do and split the first four games by each winning one on the road, then the pivotal game 5 should be played at home for the top-seeded team. that is they're reward for having outperformed in the regular season. instead, they're faced with a difficult road game when it matters the most.

i'm not guaranteeing that lakers would have won game 5 if it had been in la, but i'm sure it would've made the supporting cast feel much more comfortable. instead, granted the celtics played great defense, no other player besides kobe's single handed efforts to keep the lakers in this game and gasol's meager 12 points were in double digit scoring...no one rebounded the ball...no one played with a championship desire. just because we won last year doesn't mean we can coast...play hard 12 minutes every quarter, 48 minutes every game, 82 games a year, and then win 16 games in the playoffs. that's what every coach has preached to a player ever since they stepped on a basketball court.

i know we're banged up and i don't underestimate how important having a healthy bynum is to the lakers...but the rest of the players need to step up as nate robinson and big baby has for the celtics. where's odom? where's artest? where's brown and farmer? kobe had 19 points of the lakers 26 in the 3rd quarter. i didn't need him to do that to show me he is one the greatest players ever. what i needed was for other players to play and for the lakers to want this, to prove that last year wasn't a fluke and that we can beat the greats.

so guys...for my sanity, for the avoidance of physical harm, for the two maine lobsters riding on this series...please, step up your game.

The Big Apple

after returning from a quick trip to the big city to the north, i again realized that i have a love/hate relationship with the city. well, i won't go so far as to say 'hate', but "can't see myself living there unless i had a lot of money" doesn't fit.

i was lucky this trip, visiting a friend who used to live in the city to take me off the beaten path, i was able to see a bit more of new york that isn't simply on postcards and movie cliches (though we did see the spot tom hanks and meg ryan had their romantic final embrace in you've got mail in riverside park). but beyond that, what always draws me to the city is the unending plethora of fooding/drinking/social experiences that can be had. it is a foodie's dream...with its 5-star establishments to its hole-in-the-wall joints, there are no bounds to the eating that can be done. and if i was rich, had the time, and didn't care about my appearance, i'd just take a year and eat my way around the entire city. but since i can't do that, it just gives me more of an excuse to come back and venture to other parts of town to dine on new cuisines and drink to my liver's content.

Business Trips

when i was younger, my dad was a frequent business traveler...hopping from city to city, jumping from plane to plane...and i always thought that would be cool. to be a man of the air and to visit so many places. obviously, his excursions were never puddle jumps...unless you consider the pacific ocean a puddle. and a constant 13 hour flight every few weeks can clearly cause a significant amount of stress...which i have always been grateful for my dad to have endured to provide for my spoiled ass.

but now that i'm older and taking business trips of my own (and granted, i only make these trips VERY rarely), i have a new found respect fo the work that he did. as for my experience, work has shipped me out to montana to help educated the locals about what we did in health reform. thus, i've spent the past few weeks setting up meetings, booking hotels, renting cars (yes, i can finally do that legally), and reserving seats on planes.

and now that i'm halfway done with my trip...i've run into a handleful of miseries common to the business traveler. the trip didn't start out great with a meager (but damaging) 30 minute delay out...which meant that, even with my furious race down the terminal, i still missed my connecting flight, stranding me in salt lake city for an extra couple of hours. and getting into my final destination later than expected, my luggage's travel time was not in sync with mine. (normally i would've tried to the 'up in the air' theory of only keeping one carry on, but i haven't mastered the packing needs yet).

travel issues aside, what really gets to you is the constant moving around...hopping from meeting to meeting, conference room to conference room, speaking the same canned response and answering the same common question. all the while finding a restaurant at the end of the day to have a meal alone and then return to a hotel room and sleep in a bed that isn't yours. i've always liked hotels...but after three nights in a strange bed without the mental comforts of home...you do start to feel a bit uncomfortable.

but at the end of the day, i really have no complaints. it is nice to get out of dc and to get out into the real world. and since i don't do this very often, the novelty of it still exists and i'm going to enjoy it while i can.

Rat Race

as i come into a new season of job hunting and anxious anticipation of a single acceptance amongst piles of rejections, i sometimes wonder what it'd be like to not be a part of the rat race, to have the freedom from any responsibilities beyond your own existence. obviously, those who know me know those thoughts don't linger long as i am a creature of urban existence and luxuries. but there are moments when the calm serenity of a backpack and green pastures or white sand beaches sounds extremely appealing.

this morning, as i prepared for another job interview by frantically browsing the internet for porn and gossip, i stumbled upon this time lapse short about someone's travels through the silk road. maybe it's my a.d.d. that is keeping me from focusing on the job hunt at hand, but the harmony of the music set to the vicarious adventures has me day dreaming the morning away.

Silk Road Timelapse: Two Months Across Tibet, Xinjiang, Yunan, and China from inMotion on Vimeo.

Denial

i've never lived my life with very much regret...or at least i always tried not to. there are very few things in my life that aren't good and i've been extremely fortunate to be where i am, so i find that allowing myself to regret paths not chosen is disrespectful to those who got me where i am and those who don't have the opportunities to have enjoyed what i have enjoyed.

but every once in a while, when things are going the way i hope, regret seems to be the scapegoat of my contempt. why didn't i try harder in san diego? why was i so selfish in shanghai? why didn't i come back sooner? etc etc etc...

you learn things as you gain more experience, and what i've learned about myself is that i'm really good at denial. and that's disappointing because i like to solve problems...but when it comes to ones i find have unfavorable resolutions, i tend to deny the outcome and pray that the grass is greener on the other side of my thoughts, that there's still a hidden path that i haven't found yet that will get me where i want to go.

my only fear is that in my denial, in my constant search for that path the doesn't exist, is that i miss other paths that may lead me forward.

More Animal Cuteness

to follow up on the great panda escape, here's another clip of a bear cub of the black bear variety (i'm totally guessing here) being freaked out by a lion. i would imagine that this pairing could have potentially become one of those "odd couples" in the animal friendship world.

Bear Cub Scared By Lion - Watch more Funny Videos

All Done

it's finally recess here in congress...meaning the streets and buildings have completely emptied out as congressional staff members take their stockpiled vacation days and bolt the city. and i will follow the masses and take my leave as well.

but this recess has the added bonus...unlike previous breaks, this one doesn't have that sense of pressure, that i was leaving something unfinished. and that is because the century long health care debate has finally ended. sure there will be court challenges and the midterm elections...but behind all the teabaggers and empty rhetoric, health care reform is ultimately finished and the democrats have won. and though we don't know how it'll eventually play out in november, i doubt the world be succumb to armageddon.

and after over a year's worth of toil, we finally have time to reflect on the efforts of the staff that pushed through this effort. and some well-deserved recognition must be made.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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readers of this blog need not know any more context.

We the People

sometimes in a democracy, the other guys win. and i'm hopeful that in a few hours, democracy (however nasty and dirty a game it is) will prevail again and we'll have the votes to pass comprehensive health care reform after a 100 years of struggle.

these people, with their whining, misinformed fox news babble can now afford health insurance, can now be protected from malicious insurance policies, can now realize that they the sky didn't fall down and they can still see their doctor, can now go to their grandparents' houses and realize they're still alive. and 20 or 30 years down the line, when these people become accustomed to the benefits that they derided as socialism today and defend their tax subsidy as they now defend the single-payer system of Medicare, i hope that they can all look back at this snapshot in time as realize that they're giant douchebags.

Escape!

maybe there was just a lusher pile of bamboo on the other side of the fence or some smoking panda chick sprawled over some leaves...but these two renegade pandas have hatched the an escape plan based on "your shoelaces are untied" trick.

now i've seen pandas first hand, and if my brother is any indication, they like to sit and eat and generally are not runners (though i hear that my brother is changing that trend...way to go man). but this just goes to show you that curiosity, the desire for freedom, or just the opportunity to display your cuteness in a youtube world is motivation enough to make a dash for the unknown.

Health Prom

every year, the winston health policy fellowship hosts a ball as fundraiser for itself that also seconds as a celebration of the their fellows for that particular year. it's a formal, black-tie event that is well attended by lobbyist, advocates, and policy folk alike. so every year, the health policy folks who are anybody (or just people who know the right people...ME) dress up and walk the health policy red carpet at the ritz carlton.

so with the context established, the health team of the senate finance committee gathered together in our dresses and tuxedos and marched from our prisons in the dirksen building to the luxurious ballroom of the ritz to celebrate ourselves and to get incessantly lobbied by special interests and industry. all trying to steal a snippet of information about what's going on in the halls of congress as we move forward with health care reform.

though it wasn't the celebratory "we passed health reform so suck it all you republicans in the room" event for us, good times were still had all around. conversation was welcome, drinks flowed from the open bar, and networking was conducted. all and all, it was a good event. hopefully i stay in the good graces of the event planners so to receive an invitation for next years soiree.

WTF

lately...there has been a kind of malaise around me. it is the lack of motivation or excitement that comes with uncertainty and powerlessness. usually at these moments, you feel completely alone and unsure of the next steps or who to turn to. but as in the midst of my ritualistic sunday perusal of the interwebs, i found that i am not alone...but that even the calendar feels the same way i do.

Fooding

it is no secret that i like to eat...so i thought that it would be beneficial to the eaters of dc to know where i like to plop myself down and shovel sweet ambrosia into my mouth. and after serious consideration and weeks of thought, i've made that list and got it posted on here.

but in case you really can't click on another link...here's my recommended list:

1. Scorched earth cocktail at The Gibson

2. "G man" sub on a hard roll with everything at Mangialardo and Sons

3. Southern fried chicken with fresh greens and mac and cheese at Levi's Port Cafe

4. Honey glazed duck breast at Birch and Barley

5. Beef shawarma at The Shawarma Spot

Snowmageddon

there is no doubt that i've done my extremely large share of complaining about the snow storms dc has been hit by the past few days. and i still hold my ground in that, even though there was a serenity to the quiet and calmness that comes with a blanket of fresh powder, the snow has become burdensome.

however, besides waiting in line with fellow panicked residents at the grocery store plucking the few remaining items off the shelves...and besides the constant fear of cracking my skull slipping on a slab of ice...and besides the claustrophobia inducing metro, the storms have brought us some goodness. the joy of children sledding down hills...the massive impromptu snowball fights...seeing the goodness in people as they help dig out trapped cars...and my personal first snow day off work.

undoubtedly, as we (myself included) are forced back to our desks and can no longer enjoy the snow and ice in the comforts of a heated house and hot cocoa in our hands, the cacophony of complaints and whines will grow louder by the day. but from the confines of the metro to the doldrums of a day at work, we should keep in mind the childhood fun we all found in snow.

Washington, DC Snow Storm from Es Video! on Vimeo.

Stir Crazy

forgive me in advance for what looks to be a self-loathing posting...but for the past few weeks, my morale, my sanity, and my mood have all been slipping. from the democratic party failures at work to the record setting blizzard trapping me in my own house to the emotional pendulum of my history have caused me to get a severe bout of cabin fever.

the signs of have clear of my impending downward spiral. three weeks of constant droning and internet browsing at work while we wait for any health care reform heartbeat...inches to feet of snow ruining plans for the third consecutive weekend...and months of misconstrued communication with a part of my past. it seems the only thing slower at acknowledging the signs of me reaching my dregs of sanity is toyota's delayed recall.

but alas, there are always two sides of the coin. and i was reminded, if not urged, by a friend of mine that complaints and whining are never attractive. and at this point, i need all the attractiveness i can muster to keep me afloat. so hopefully come sunday, a fresh layer of pristine white powder will also bring with it a renewed layer of optimism.

5 Stages of Grief

how the health care world ended up at this point is completely full of irony:

from the democrats sweeping into power and elect the first african-american president with the oratorical skills that could persuade the cynic of cynics, but couldn't find a cogent message to sell reform to the american people...

to ted kennedy's health getting into the way of his life's work and dream of health reform...

to the senate finance committee wasting months on end trying to negotiate with republicans only to be skewered by liberals for being too slow and lambasted by conservatives for jamming this down their throats...

to a nude, republican centerfold (way to go you uptight northerners) win over ted kennedy's long held seat in the bastion of democratic ideals...

to the democratic party not learning from past mistakes and ending their run a deja vu fashion by losing control of congress and still not having health reform.

this has been a complete crash of morale and my spirits have been dashed away. whatever hope i have that the house of representatives will pass the senate passed bill is flickering ever so slightly...as i hold my breath the next few days as i fear even the smallest whimper will extinguish it.

i find myself working through the 5 stages of grief as i try to compose myself and shake off this haze of uncertainty...

denial
there was just no way massachusetts would cede their democratic voice for that of a conservative republican. there was no way the democrats would nominate someone as inept at campaigning as martha coakley. there was no way the white house and the senate campaigning arm would take the race for granted. there was no way...until 8:30pm on tuesday night where that way was forged.
anger
why couldn't we have parted ways with the republicans sooner? why couldn't the house taken up the senate bill with modifications as opposed to relitigating every single policy? why didn't the white house not lay down the law? why can't the house just take the senate bill now?
bargaining
we can make the deal so that the house passes the senate bill now, maybe we can assuage their concerns with a rider or reconciliation bill later. (in fact...there are no more bargaining options after that if we can true health reform)
depression
seeing a year and a half worth of work, toil, sweat, and blood go into a product that is facing failure has rocked me to my core. it has made my physically sick and mentally defeated. the potential of complete and utter collapse is a massive body blow to my young professional career.
acceptance
hasn't happened yet.......

....this sucks

Battle Lines

while diligently researching conflicts of interest clauses and federal statues on financial interests...i found this:

Little asian PC girl vs. MAC parody - watch more funny videos

which obviously proves that i wasn't diligently doing either research or work.

Another Decade in the Books

as i sat down at my desk trying to figure out what memories i could draw to write this memorial of 2009, i realized that as hectic and crazy this year has been, it all surrounded a singular topic which readers of this blog know all too well by now. hopefully my regurgitation of history won't be as monomaniacal as my career has made me.

a good friend of mine asked me yesterday if 2009 was a good year for me, and in most aspects of my life, it really was. from several new toys to play with...to fostering friendships...to a conclusion of a rather uninspiring academic career...to a blooming professional path already flowered with milestones.

exactly last year, i was penning a post predicting my naivete in hoping for a 2009 full of highs. and exactly one year later, i don't find myself wishing for continued ebullience, but merely for progress...for too many seeds were planted this past year and they must be vigilantly nurtured.

december
the health reform battle that labored for months had culminated in a three-week floor battle and an ever more historical christmas eve vote for final passage. and sitting in the gallery of the senate, i witnessed a years worth of hard work be rewarded with 60 aye votes.
november
with the holiday season revving its engines and no extra chef hands to help this year, i decided to try something different. a turducken was ordered and prepared...then deliciously devoured as the pre-thanksgiving holiday feast continued.
october
another month consumed entirely by work...this time it was the precursor to december action, committee markup. countless hours, innumerable talking points, dem on dem bickering, and political courtship resulted in a bipartisan 14-9 passage of the finance committee version of health care reform.
september
as i hit my quarter century mark, i was gifted with a new computer (a beautifully sleek macbook pro whose keyboard glows a heavenly aura as i type) and a return of my black, equally sleek acura mdx that has now freed me from the shackles of wmata.
august
with congress heading home for recess, i was affordable a comfortable month of excessive indulgence as restaurant week reservations were made and a decadent trip out west was enjoyed.
july
is it a good thing that i only remember two moments of this month...and that i have previous entries about both? i'd like to think my life was more interesting than playing hearts as we awaited the splashing of fire and lights across the sky or a trip out to the vineyards of virginia on a perfectly weathered summer day.
june
sadly, june was a month that was spent trapped inside the dirksen building as negotiations raged on. minus sitting down at the smallest (6 seat) yet most intriguing meal of my life, june was a month consumed by work.
may
graduation month...the finale of two years of grad school and the nail in the coffin of my academic career. sure sure, education extends beyond the walls of a schoolyard and never ends...but it never felt so good to gain three little letters after my name.
april
i remember april to have dragged on...with senioritis weighing down my legs and extensive hours at work continuing to place burdens on my shoulders, i could not wait to escape the pouring showers of a long, wet spring.
march
the doldrums of winter caught up to me again this past march. a good california boy like myself can only handle the biting cold and dampness of snow and ice for so long. but i will remember the month as an old friendship was rekindled...if only ever so slightly.
february
the memories of this month have escaped me...sadly, the only thing i can really remember that caught my attention this month was the last minute toe-tipping catch santonio holmes made to win the superbowl...wonder what that says about february.
january
even though i was diverted by a blockade of obamaniacs, i will also remember january as the month i almost got to see obama inaugurated. even with the failures of the blue ticket gate, the inauguration was still the breath of fresh air the country needed...before a year of beer-summits, economic stimulus, and health care reform partisanship tainted our beliefs of hope.

so there is it, 2009 wrapped up in a neat little blogosphere bow. of it all, i will appreciate the past year as perhaps my most independent one of all. i spent wire-to-wire in the district with only a few days beyond its boarders...graduating with a degree, pouring hours and hours into a cause and finally seeing results, and the ability to reap in the rewards i actually felt that i earned.

to 2010...