5 Stages of Grief

how the health care world ended up at this point is completely full of irony:

from the democrats sweeping into power and elect the first african-american president with the oratorical skills that could persuade the cynic of cynics, but couldn't find a cogent message to sell reform to the american people...

to ted kennedy's health getting into the way of his life's work and dream of health reform...

to the senate finance committee wasting months on end trying to negotiate with republicans only to be skewered by liberals for being too slow and lambasted by conservatives for jamming this down their throats...

to a nude, republican centerfold (way to go you uptight northerners) win over ted kennedy's long held seat in the bastion of democratic ideals...

to the democratic party not learning from past mistakes and ending their run a deja vu fashion by losing control of congress and still not having health reform.

this has been a complete crash of morale and my spirits have been dashed away. whatever hope i have that the house of representatives will pass the senate passed bill is flickering ever so slightly...as i hold my breath the next few days as i fear even the smallest whimper will extinguish it.

i find myself working through the 5 stages of grief as i try to compose myself and shake off this haze of uncertainty...

denial
there was just no way massachusetts would cede their democratic voice for that of a conservative republican. there was no way the democrats would nominate someone as inept at campaigning as martha coakley. there was no way the white house and the senate campaigning arm would take the race for granted. there was no way...until 8:30pm on tuesday night where that way was forged.
anger
why couldn't we have parted ways with the republicans sooner? why couldn't the house taken up the senate bill with modifications as opposed to relitigating every single policy? why didn't the white house not lay down the law? why can't the house just take the senate bill now?
bargaining
we can make the deal so that the house passes the senate bill now, maybe we can assuage their concerns with a rider or reconciliation bill later. (in fact...there are no more bargaining options after that if we can true health reform)
depression
seeing a year and a half worth of work, toil, sweat, and blood go into a product that is facing failure has rocked me to my core. it has made my physically sick and mentally defeated. the potential of complete and utter collapse is a massive body blow to my young professional career.
acceptance
hasn't happened yet.......

....this sucks