Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Roller Coasters

i have never been a fan of roller coasters, i don't enjoy that adrenaline rush that propels throngs of young kids to 6 flags every summer. maybe its the motion sickness i get from loops or the whiplash from the turns, but they have never been my thing so i've always avoided them. but i have never, nor do i really hope to, avoid the roller coast of life.

i started this entry prepared to depress you with messages of pessimism and cynicism spawned from a period of recent challenges. the past few weeks has seemed like i was on a ride with sharp turns and gravity-challenging loops only to discover that my shoulder locking mechanism was loose and i'd have to rely on those dinky little metal bars that extend over your lap. but instead of groaning about things that did not come to be or a future that turned to memories, i was inspired tonight by the words of an individual.


now of course she wasn't speaking to me, or the comparatively minor problems i face in my life, but the tone of the message, the hopefulness of the future, the dreams that erased the nightmares that has shifted my emotional latitude for the moment.

i had made the familiar journey from my house to campus for what would seemingly be my last first-day of school. and as i made the trek, it seemed resoundingly clear that my future isn't something that is abstract...not like it is to the hundreds of new freshmen aimlessly lost around campus...but it is now something tangible. and how i choose to react to my recent situations will speak oceans of how far i've come as that same freshman only 6 years ago.

and to listen to michelle obama speak tonight, i have learned that i am here not only because of my past, but because of what i've done with it and what i've learned from it to take me to my future. i'm not proud of a lot of moments in my life, and the temptation of an eternal sunshine moment has always lingered, but i only live with the knowledge that there will be these moments again in the future, and how you treat them is the definition of where you'll go. the past few weeks may have felt as if i've been on the top of the tracks fearful of the impending descent, but now i know i have to face that fall not with fear, but with hopefulness to the rise that undoubtedly follows.

so here's to hoping...

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