i came here with intentions to open my eyes, to challenge myself, to test my limits of comfortablity...but to grow into the person everyone else wants me to be. i know that seems wrong, i should be out here to becoming the person i want myself to become, but i've been trying to find that and i haven't.
it seems that every step i've taken, from choosing to graduate earlier than planned to moving to china to finding work experience here to learning chinese, has not been forced upon me, but i definitely felt a little nudging behind me. and it is my own fault for succumbing to pressures and not standing up for what I would rather be doing. so now i'm here...
now let's say that in a few months, i will have achieved all the goals and benchmarks that have been set in front of me. what will i have given up?
i've had a lot of time for these thoughts. and sometimes...i feel as if the costs of all this are just too much for me to bare. regrets and doubts have flooded my consciousness...now it's up to me to drown or try for shore.
Monday, January 29, 2007
At What Cost
Posted by hu? at 11:30 AM
Labels: reflections
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2 comments:
first of all... hiii...
secondly... you stole that line! it's from spanglish!
and you thought you were so clever... =P
what happened to xanga??
ANywway real comment,
I think in any situation in life, you have to figure out what you want the most at that very moment. Whatever it is, you're the one who knows what makes you happy, and you shouldn't succumb to people pushing you to go one way, or comparing your life with other people in your age group or situation. Everyone reacts differently and everyone has their own path. Do what makes you the most happy so you won't spend time with regrets and doubt.
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