5 Stages of Grief

how the health care world ended up at this point is completely full of irony:

from the democrats sweeping into power and elect the first african-american president with the oratorical skills that could persuade the cynic of cynics, but couldn't find a cogent message to sell reform to the american people...

to ted kennedy's health getting into the way of his life's work and dream of health reform...

to the senate finance committee wasting months on end trying to negotiate with republicans only to be skewered by liberals for being too slow and lambasted by conservatives for jamming this down their throats...

to a nude, republican centerfold (way to go you uptight northerners) win over ted kennedy's long held seat in the bastion of democratic ideals...

to the democratic party not learning from past mistakes and ending their run a deja vu fashion by losing control of congress and still not having health reform.

this has been a complete crash of morale and my spirits have been dashed away. whatever hope i have that the house of representatives will pass the senate passed bill is flickering ever so slightly...as i hold my breath the next few days as i fear even the smallest whimper will extinguish it.

i find myself working through the 5 stages of grief as i try to compose myself and shake off this haze of uncertainty...

denial
there was just no way massachusetts would cede their democratic voice for that of a conservative republican. there was no way the democrats would nominate someone as inept at campaigning as martha coakley. there was no way the white house and the senate campaigning arm would take the race for granted. there was no way...until 8:30pm on tuesday night where that way was forged.
anger
why couldn't we have parted ways with the republicans sooner? why couldn't the house taken up the senate bill with modifications as opposed to relitigating every single policy? why didn't the white house not lay down the law? why can't the house just take the senate bill now?
bargaining
we can make the deal so that the house passes the senate bill now, maybe we can assuage their concerns with a rider or reconciliation bill later. (in fact...there are no more bargaining options after that if we can true health reform)
depression
seeing a year and a half worth of work, toil, sweat, and blood go into a product that is facing failure has rocked me to my core. it has made my physically sick and mentally defeated. the potential of complete and utter collapse is a massive body blow to my young professional career.
acceptance
hasn't happened yet.......

....this sucks

Battle Lines

while diligently researching conflicts of interest clauses and federal statues on financial interests...i found this:

Little asian PC girl vs. MAC parody - watch more funny videos

which obviously proves that i wasn't diligently doing either research or work.

Another Decade in the Books

as i sat down at my desk trying to figure out what memories i could draw to write this memorial of 2009, i realized that as hectic and crazy this year has been, it all surrounded a singular topic which readers of this blog know all too well by now. hopefully my regurgitation of history won't be as monomaniacal as my career has made me.

a good friend of mine asked me yesterday if 2009 was a good year for me, and in most aspects of my life, it really was. from several new toys to play with...to fostering friendships...to a conclusion of a rather uninspiring academic career...to a blooming professional path already flowered with milestones.

exactly last year, i was penning a post predicting my naivete in hoping for a 2009 full of highs. and exactly one year later, i don't find myself wishing for continued ebullience, but merely for progress...for too many seeds were planted this past year and they must be vigilantly nurtured.

december
the health reform battle that labored for months had culminated in a three-week floor battle and an ever more historical christmas eve vote for final passage. and sitting in the gallery of the senate, i witnessed a years worth of hard work be rewarded with 60 aye votes.
november
with the holiday season revving its engines and no extra chef hands to help this year, i decided to try something different. a turducken was ordered and prepared...then deliciously devoured as the pre-thanksgiving holiday feast continued.
october
another month consumed entirely by work...this time it was the precursor to december action, committee markup. countless hours, innumerable talking points, dem on dem bickering, and political courtship resulted in a bipartisan 14-9 passage of the finance committee version of health care reform.
september
as i hit my quarter century mark, i was gifted with a new computer (a beautifully sleek macbook pro whose keyboard glows a heavenly aura as i type) and a return of my black, equally sleek acura mdx that has now freed me from the shackles of wmata.
august
with congress heading home for recess, i was affordable a comfortable month of excessive indulgence as restaurant week reservations were made and a decadent trip out west was enjoyed.
july
is it a good thing that i only remember two moments of this month...and that i have previous entries about both? i'd like to think my life was more interesting than playing hearts as we awaited the splashing of fire and lights across the sky or a trip out to the vineyards of virginia on a perfectly weathered summer day.
june
sadly, june was a month that was spent trapped inside the dirksen building as negotiations raged on. minus sitting down at the smallest (6 seat) yet most intriguing meal of my life, june was a month consumed by work.
may
graduation month...the finale of two years of grad school and the nail in the coffin of my academic career. sure sure, education extends beyond the walls of a schoolyard and never ends...but it never felt so good to gain three little letters after my name.
april
i remember april to have dragged on...with senioritis weighing down my legs and extensive hours at work continuing to place burdens on my shoulders, i could not wait to escape the pouring showers of a long, wet spring.
march
the doldrums of winter caught up to me again this past march. a good california boy like myself can only handle the biting cold and dampness of snow and ice for so long. but i will remember the month as an old friendship was rekindled...if only ever so slightly.
february
the memories of this month have escaped me...sadly, the only thing i can really remember that caught my attention this month was the last minute toe-tipping catch santonio holmes made to win the superbowl...wonder what that says about february.
january
even though i was diverted by a blockade of obamaniacs, i will also remember january as the month i almost got to see obama inaugurated. even with the failures of the blue ticket gate, the inauguration was still the breath of fresh air the country needed...before a year of beer-summits, economic stimulus, and health care reform partisanship tainted our beliefs of hope.

so there is it, 2009 wrapped up in a neat little blogosphere bow. of it all, i will appreciate the past year as perhaps my most independent one of all. i spent wire-to-wire in the district with only a few days beyond its boarders...graduating with a degree, pouring hours and hours into a cause and finally seeing results, and the ability to reap in the rewards i actually felt that i earned.

to 2010...

Viral?

there must be a lot more health policy junkies than i had previously imagined...or else the entire public policy bubble of dc united to make my boss a viral video (albeit still no where close to the hilarity of david after dentist).

but still...i find it hard to believe that somehow, this video of my boss proudly striking back at republicans for feigning bipartisanship made it onto any top ten list of viral videos on any website.

for what it's worth, this speech was awesome.

60-39

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by Ron Pollack, FamiliesUSA

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Senate
The Democrats were working for a fundamental tenet:
All Americans should have health care at a reasonable price
By forcing insurance companies to finally play nice.

The reform bill they pushed took some very strong positions,
Like no one denied coverage due to pre-existing conditions.
Premiums, in the future, would need to be fair
With no differences for women and people needing care.

The Democrats made sure that the bill they designed
Would give folks 'cross the nation some real peace of mind.
Health care would not end if jobs changed or were lost
As all could choose health plans at an affordable cost.

For seniors needing medicines, the bill had much to extol:
It plugged gaps in their coverage, like the bad "doughnut hole".
And for empty-nesting parents, there was reason to rejoice
Kids could keep family coverage, this was now a parent's choice.

But all Republicans scoffed and persistently said "no"
With the sometimes exception of their colleague, Ms. Snowe.
With obstructions and filibusters, they tried every delay
To stop the bill and kill reform, before Christmas day.

So Leader Reid called his colleagues from left and from right,
For all 60 to join him, lest they lose this big fight.
Now Nelson, now Lincoln, now Franken and Wyden,
On Lieberman, on Bingaman, on Harkin and Cardin.

Christmas eve turned to night, and when the votes were all counted,
The filibusters and obstructions were completely surmounted.
The vote was inspired by the memory of Ted
Who'd applaud the victory for the cause he had led.

The work isn't over, there's much yet to be done
The Senate and the House bills must be merged into one.
But the vote on Christmas eve offers reason to cheer
*Cause health care reform will pass in the new year.

So call your fine leaders, and let your voice be heard,
With letters and emails, we must spread the word.
Our message is clear, and it shines a bright light
Health care coverage for all, and for all it's our right.

it was well over a year ago that i started working for the finance committee...providing me the perfect opportunity to make an early mark in a still very impressionable career. and what started with a white paper on health reform...through months of negotiations, weeks of wrangling with cbo, days of committee mark up and floor time, hours of speeches and talking points...the u.s. senate passed health care reform on a crisp christmas eve morning.

the gravity of what happened today hasn't even completely set in yet. it would be nice to know that we're done, but we're not. it would be nice to know that we've finished, but we haven't. but it is nice to know that we accomplished something that hasn't been done in 100 years. but even more than that...it is nice to know that when this is done, when this is finished, we will have made a difference.