Irony?

perhaps after sending sexts of your junk to unsuspecting former coworkers, this is what you get in return.

it doesn't matter where you are, whenever a guy sees another guy getting hit in the nuts they will instinctively feel a bit of pain in their own region...but that being said, this is still pretty funny.

Escape!

maybe there was just a lusher pile of bamboo on the other side of the fence or some smoking panda chick sprawled over some leaves...but these two renegade pandas have hatched the an escape plan based on "your shoelaces are untied" trick.

now i've seen pandas first hand, and if my brother is any indication, they like to sit and eat and generally are not runners (though i hear that my brother is changing that trend...way to go man). but this just goes to show you that curiosity, the desire for freedom, or just the opportunity to display your cuteness in a youtube world is motivation enough to make a dash for the unknown.

Battle Lines

while diligently researching conflicts of interest clauses and federal statues on financial interests...i found this:

Little asian PC girl vs. MAC parody - watch more funny videos

which obviously proves that i wasn't diligently doing either research or work.

Flashback

i probably wouldn't have found this so amusing had i not been able to relate to this young asian kid's vest for the taboo...or 'tittays' as this kid so eloquently puts it. there is a comedy here, as i can probably accurately predict this kid's entire social and familial situation. he's that pre-teen asian kid coming from a first-generation family, who's undoubtedly enrolled in math tutor session in addition piano and violin lessons, with parents holding onto the reins so tight that discovering choice images of vanessa hudgens naked will help develop this young man's appreciation for the female form.

what i find amusing is that in a decade of growth, the only thing that has changed from when that young child was me is the medium in which we can sneak peeks at the forbidden or steal snapshots at the unknown. and equally entertaining is the distribution of these fruits...transformed from the days of covertly slipping the playboy to your friend behind the bleachers to now possessing the concept of 'going viral'.

so to this kid, and future generations of our kind, i say this...enjoy the bliss of youth while you can because in a blink of an eye, you'll look in the mirror and see a up and coming young professional who's exterior is built for public consumption but who still holds on that little chinese kid inside.

Trapped

it's not an uncommon sight to see throngs of reporters surrounding senators as they leave meetings and are vulnerable as they walk the halls back to their offices. and as there was a finance committee members' meeting, yesterday was no different.

after a constructive 2 hr meeting, i ducked out a bit early to make a phone call in our little hallway phone booth (which is basically a closet). unfortunately, as i ended my call...i noticed that there was a mob outside the door, blocking my exit. normally, it wouldn't be such a rude move to push through a few reporters, but this time was different. the person whose back was pressed against the door was that of the senator from maine, olympia snowe...and you can't just push a senator out of the way.

so for a good 20 minutes, i was trapped inside that little closet (as seen in the photo) as senator snowe answered questions and interviews. i furiously sent emails to our press secretary and a few colleagues asking them to perhaps stop by and ask the senator's staffer to move to the side so i could escape, but all i got back from them was mocking laughter and photo-taking.

as the reporters finally got their share and the questions began to dwindle, i finally got the attention of a staffer and a reporter, who kindly opened the door for me and freed me from my confines. and as a result of imprisonment, i did get a very sincere apology from the good senator from maine.

but beyond that low-moment of the week, there was also a fair amount of excitement (at least for a junior staffer of my level). the past two months have been spent speaking with interest groups, academics, experts, and fellow staffers to hone in on an improved reintroduction of my boss's comparative effectiveness research bill. for those who are not following health reform (i'm taking names and will make sure you don't get insurance or that you're premiums go up!!)...CER is what those on the right have labeled as our attempts to ration your health care by taking away decisions from your doctor and placing them in government hands.

of course, all that is full of crap and i'll be writing talking points to counter them soon. but to get back to the original point, this was the first time i've been sent solo to hammer out the details, make the sausage, and cut the deals...and the outcome was a bill, S. 1213 - The Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Act of 2009.

it's been a nice progression for me since i've entered the world of professional politics...starting with a few terms with NACHC, helping the medically underserved and low-income populations find access to health care; then moving onto the hill shadowing the legislative director of a congressman from tennessee; to entering the annals of the national journal. hopefully this summer will be capped off with an invite to the white house for the signing ceremony for a comprehensive health reform bill...so here's to hoping.

QAS

QUIET ASIAN SYNDROME - watch more funny videos

we must all band together...

i have established "Andrew's House" to help raise awareness and take donations for this debilitating disease

...together, we can overcome

Mr. President

well...can you blame him?

*update*

Asian Babies

can't say they aren't cute...little asian babies tend to look like dumplings, and this one is no different.

Ode To The Mosquito

little pesky things,
so small, yet your bites always leave stings.

i try to leave you be,
but you always come back to me.

what is it about my blood that you so adore?
what about me drives you to come for more?

now that you've eaten,
i feel annoyed and beaten.

each time you choose to hitch,
it is another red spot on me that i have to itch.

how i hate you so,
you little pesky thing, you mosquito

Storytelling

i remember back in the days when i was still entrenched in apo, and wes and i would battle each other for the record of attending the most pledge retreats. he would always tell the same ghost stories, and everyone would always enjoy them as wes is a great story teller...

but i have now come across a better way...

Good Ol' Days

back in the last year of my high school career, my good friend lance and i were paired together in a senior-easy A-joke tv productions course. keeping in line with the tradition of several other friends who had taken the course in previous years, we decided to extend the Secret Agent Man series. here is what ensued...

excuse the quality, back in those times, we rendered the videos onto VHS (yeah, right?)...and also excuse the humor, we were in high school.




and here is another "dream sequence" video...same disclaimers apply.

So True

i apologize for the brief haitus from my incoherence...though this post will also not be a recap of my absence, just an insert of something i found completely true and right on the mark.

The Truth

forget all my barack obama posters and stickers...forget all the times i tried to get you to vote democratic...forget my work in a democratic congressional office...forget that i come from california...this is the truth:

Crazy Asians Part 2

this is probably a bad time to be joking about asian people as so many of them have been victims of a terrible natural disaster...but humor is the best way to mourn.

so here are my brethren in action, doing what we do...pictures
(most of these are japanese crazies, so if you lump me into one of them, the following response is perfect)

Denial

no no...i'm not talking about the denial i'm in that my readers have scrambled away from this blog because it has been ignored the past few weeks, but because they've actually found out i have no talent at all...it has been years since i've grown past that one. but i have found my way back to my little spot here on the internet after stumbling across sushipanda's blog to find a hilarious video about a fallen politician...
(if you don't know who i'm talking about, how it is under that rock of yours?)



i am glad this primary is finally being called 'over'...though most of us amateur pundits sitting around Ward have already been calling it for months. though i'll have to agree with letterman, hrc does have a lead on one major measure and one major state...denial.

besides...you got to love a candidate who still has that kid spirit in him:

The Vice President of Perversion

so we already know that starting ill-conceived wars, subverting the American image into a torturing bully, blowing shotgun pellets into the faces of senior citizens, and spreading neocon hatred are all things that make dick happy...

but now, from the looks of its reflection, it seems that dick might enjoy the sight of youthful Ashley Alexandra Dupré-esque women as well.

My Fellow Chinese

this is just awesome...


no other words here...just awesome

Oh Heidi

on this day of thanksgiving, i'm thankful for these...



don't worry...i'm sure i'll feel inspired at some point through the day to release my eloquence onto this blog and let all of you know what i'm thankful for.

Primary Shakeup

already a complicated and contentious primary race ahead of us...the electorate will now have another contender to add to its indecision.

with hillary pulling away in all the national polls, my obamatized support is feeling a little worried. hillary's divisiveness has always been the main reason why she hasn't garnered my support...and the threat that her name on the ticket would energize the republican base to elect someone as crazy as rudy.


but now there is hope...no no, not al gore. apparently his nobel and recent commercial popularity is too much of a draw than the prospect of returning to a political life. it's okay, the draft gore movement will have to learn to focus their energy elsewhere. perhaps to south carolina, and the announcement of their favorite son to throw his hat in the ring...


damn...if only i lived in south carolina

Summer Blockbusters

forget the technological extravaganza of the transformers...or the thrill ride finale of the bourne ultimatum...or the culmination of 20 years of the simpsons...

this summer, there is only one major blockbuster that i wish to see. with all the excitement of the unknown plot of a minefield, the intellectual intrigue of mathematical theatrics, and the suspense of blind anticipation...this film will definitely capture the imagination of a generation far greater than a boy wizard ever could.

i bring you...